Thursday, September 15, 2011

I can't breath

So I've been through quite a bit I'm the last two years. I've been dealing with a messy divorce. I was laid off and out of work for months. Plus dealing with my daughter that is bipolar.

Now I've know she was bipolar since she was seven. Have always dealt with meds and regular doctor visits. It all got much more intense about 2 years . Since that time she has had numerous suicide attempts. Cutting her wrist, ODing on Tylenol, drinking cleaner, etc. Plus all the times she has on her own said she needs to be hospitalized cause she was going to harm herself.

As a result she has been put in a mental facility for children more times than I can remember. She has been put in specialized school programs for kids like her. She even spent four months in a residential facility.

As always they send her home. She is not stable enough, even though I begged that they find a different solution. Then came the day she hit her 4 year old sister. She claimed it was an accident. Of course what else would she say?

This got her a room in a teen homeless shelter cause they really don't have a solution for what to do with her. It has been recommended that she go into foster care. Even that is not working out right now.

She is frustrated. I get it. I know it. She is fighting with staff at her school. Staff at the shelter. They have pointed out to her that since she can't seem to get along with anyone, may be it's her and not the rest of the world.

She is pissed and trying anything to get my attention. She is constantly lying. She has gone way to far this time. She is making accusation against her brother that I know are not true. Because the nature of the accusation, everyone involved is required to now involve child services.

This whole situations is wrong. The system is failing. I can't stop crying. Can't breath.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Wow! It's been a while since I updated this blog. I've had quite a bit going on these last few months

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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Facts about me

This was originally a meme on Twitter. There was no way I was going to spam everyone with this or easily come up with 100 facts about myself. It has become a growing and evolving list, yet still only came up with about 53 things.

1) Usually told I look about 10 years younger than I actually am
2) I have a daughter that is bipolar
3) I'm happier living away from the majority of my family.
4) I was 30 before my father ever said he was proud of me
5) My father has never told me I was pretty/ beautiful.
6) I try to tell my girls how beautiful they are every chance I get.
7) I've lived in 4 states, all ending in the letter A.
8) I went to 4 different colleges over 12 years before getting my finally getting my Bachelors.
9) I'm an Atheist
10) I have 3 kids
11) I hate my legal first name. Never use it. Someday I'll probably legally change it.
12) I hate when people call me Vero as a nickname. Always prefer V. Or E, but that's a long story.
13) Favorite color is purple
14) My parents separated when I was 8 but didn't divorce until 20 years later.
15) People seem underestimate my intelligence. Seems it maybe cause of how much I giggle & act silly.
16) I'm vegan.
17) I never know which diversity box to pick. I'm of Spanish decent but not from a Latin American country so it never fits neatly in any box.
18) With my kids we can check almost every diversity box except African American
19) I went to a performing arts high school yet haven't played an instrument, done any acting or dance in years.
20) Most of my recognition/achievement in high school was related to math.
21) At one point I was kicked out of my algebra 2 class on a daily basis and sent to my counselors office
22) My senior year I was assigned to independent study for math.
23) I'm allergic to milk, eggs, sulphates, every grass imaginable, magnolias, cats, dogs, latex & nylon.
24) I've had both cats & dogs growing up and as an adult.
25) I speak Spanish fluently.
English is not my first language
26) I learned Spanish & English at the same time.
27) I think writing is my weakest skill
28) I love alternative music
29) My favorite band is blink 182
30) I've seen the live at least 20 times
31) If I had to choose a theme song it would most likely be "what's my age again?"
32) Love classical & horror movie's
33) My favorite movie's would be a toss up between "Breakfast at Tiffany's" & "The Exorcist".
34) I love to paint & scrapbook but rarely feel like I have the time to
35) Some days I wish I could have live in the 20's to 40's era
36) I have a younger sister
37) I was rarely spanked as a child. Never by my parents
38) Between the ages of 13-15 I only wore blue, gold or black lipstick.
39) During that same time my head was usually partially shaved & many different colors.
40) I'm registered as an independent
41) I lean towards being libertarian
42) Most of my jobs have been office jobs
43) I did once work as a make-up artist.
44) Absolutely hate mango's
45) Detest dill
46) I love the rain
47) I'm a Leo
48) Most the cars I have own are 5-speeds
49) My favorite color for cars is silver
50) I want to retire on one of the coasts so I can walk on the beach whenever I want
51) I first was vegetarian at 17
52) I'm about 5'8' - 5'9"
53) I was born in East L.A.

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