tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11478317085890121692024-02-08T05:49:05.326-08:00My ParadoxJust a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-37088271251093661042011-09-15T17:40:00.001-07:002011-09-15T17:46:32.389-07:00I can't breathSo I've been through quite a bit I'm the last two years. I've been dealing with a messy divorce. I was laid off and out of work for months. Plus dealing with my daughter that is bipolar. <br /><br />Now I've know she was bipolar since she was seven. Have always dealt with meds and regular doctor visits. It all got much more intense about 2 years . Since that time she has had numerous suicide attempts. Cutting her wrist, ODing on Tylenol, drinking cleaner, etc. Plus all the times she has on her own said she needs to be hospitalized cause she was going to harm herself. <br /><br />As a result she has been put in a mental facility for children more times than I can remember. She has been put in specialized school programs for kids like her. She even spent four months in a residential facility. <br /><br />As always they send her home. She is not stable enough, even though I begged that they find a different solution. Then came the day she hit her 4 year old sister. She claimed it was an accident. Of course what else would she say? <br /><br />This got her a room in a teen homeless shelter cause they really don't have a solution for what to do with her. It has been recommended that she go into foster care. Even that is not working out right now. <br /><br />She is frustrated. I get it. I know it. She is fighting with staff at her school. Staff at the shelter. They have pointed out to her that since she can't seem to get along with anyone, may be it's her and not the rest of the world. <br /><br />She is pissed and trying anything to get my attention. She is constantly lying. She has gone way to far this time. She is making accusation against her brother that I know are not true. Because the nature of the accusation, everyone involved is required to now involve child services. <br /><br />This whole situations is wrong. The system is failing. I can't stop crying. Can't breath. <br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br /><br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-75700187607785346332011-07-26T22:40:00.001-07:002011-07-26T22:40:28.792-07:00Wow!Wow! It's been a while since I updated this blog. I've had quite a bit going on these last few months <br /><br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-70199060956503669622011-04-03T01:45:00.001-07:002011-07-26T22:37:56.176-07:00Facts about meThis was originally a meme on Twitter. There was no way I was going to spam everyone with this or easily come up with 100 facts about myself. It has become a growing and evolving list, yet still only came up with about 53 things. <br /><br />1) Usually told I look about 10 years younger than I actually am<br />2) I have a daughter that is bipolar<br />3) I'm happier living away from the majority of my family. <br />4) I was 30 before my father ever said he was proud of me<br />5) My father has never told me I was pretty/ beautiful. <br />6) I try to tell my girls how beautiful they are every chance I get. <br />7) I've lived in 4 states, all ending in the letter A. <br />8) I went to 4 different colleges over 12 years before getting my finally getting my Bachelors. <br />9) I'm an Atheist<br />10) I have 3 kids<br />11) I hate my legal first name. Never use it. Someday I'll probably legally change it. <br />12) I hate when people call me Vero as a nickname. Always prefer V. Or E, but that's a long story. <br />13) Favorite color is purple<br />14) My parents separated when I was 8 but didn't divorce until 20 years later. <br />15) People seem underestimate my intelligence. Seems it maybe cause of how much I giggle & act silly. <br />16) I'm vegan. <br />17) I never know which diversity box to pick. I'm of Spanish decent but not from a Latin American country so it never fits neatly in any box. <br />18) With my kids we can check almost every diversity box except African American <br />19) I went to a performing arts high school yet haven't played an instrument, done any acting or dance in years. <br />20) Most of my recognition/achievement in high school was related to math. <br />21) At one point I was kicked out of my algebra 2 class on a daily basis and sent to my counselors office <br />22) My senior year I was assigned to independent study for math. <br />23) I'm allergic to milk, eggs, sulphates, every grass imaginable, magnolias, cats, dogs, latex & nylon. <br />24) I've had both cats & dogs growing up and as an adult. <br />25) I speak Spanish fluently.<br />English is not my first language <br />26) I learned Spanish & English at the same time. <br />27) I think writing is my weakest skill<br />28) I love alternative music<br />29) My favorite band is blink 182<br />30) I've seen the live at least 20 times <br />31) If I had to choose a theme song it would most likely be "what's my age again?"<br />32) Love classical & horror movie's<br />33) My favorite movie's would be a toss up between "Breakfast at Tiffany's" & "The Exorcist". <br />34) I love to paint & scrapbook but rarely feel like I have the time to<br />35) Some days I wish I could have live in the 20's to 40's era<br />36) I have a younger sister<br />37) I was rarely spanked as a child. Never by my parents <br />38) Between the ages of 13-15 I only wore blue, gold or black lipstick. <br />39) During that same time my head was usually partially shaved & many different colors. <br />40) I'm registered as an independent<br />41) I lean towards being libertarian<br />42) Most of my jobs have been office jobs <br />43) I did once work as a make-up artist. <br />44) Absolutely hate mango's <br />45) Detest dill<br />46) I love the rain <br />47) I'm a Leo <br />48) Most the cars I have own are 5-speeds<br />49) My favorite color for cars is silver <br />50) I want to retire on one of the coasts so I can walk on the beach whenever I want <br />51) I first was vegetarian at 17<br />52) I'm about 5'8' - 5'9" <br />53) I was born in East L.A. <br /><br /><br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-70437802472884570162010-12-26T19:27:00.001-08:002010-12-26T19:27:51.795-08:00Something NewStill don't quite know what I want. I know don't want to get married again. I know don't want to play house and live with anyone, or wake up next next to them every morning. I want the freedom of having my own space to be myself. At the same time I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too in the sense that I do want to have a relationship with someone. I would like it be meaningful relationship with them, not necessarily be something defined by current cultural standards. Something we define as our own. <br /><br />Not sure if that right someone is even out there. I like the idea being able to have someone in my life who I can talk to and is willing to share the same with me. At the same time would like them to have their own life. Someone who has their own home yet wants to come over and spend time with me having fun just because. <br /><br />I'm sure for the right person I might change my mind somewhat on my current boundries but I want to take things slow. Both my marriages started with fast kinda crazy worldwind romances, yet neither lasted. I want to make sure to take my time when it comes to romance moving forward. <br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-86080768919337755032010-12-26T19:09:00.001-08:002010-12-27T08:36:54.612-08:00Good riddance to 2010This year has been less than stellar for me. I really am looking forward to 2011 and all the new possibilities it may bring. They say the biggest changes in life happen when you get a new job, get married, buy a house or have a baby. My life has major changes this year but almost in reverse. I'll explain:<br /><br />• Started the year off already going through a divorce. Yes, this was my choice. Never imagined that I would have to take my ex to court just to get him to move out of the house or that I would be the one having to pay child support & alimony. Now I only have 50% custody of my youngest child. <br /><br />• On New Year's eve last year my oldest daughter (15 now) had her first suicide attempt of the year. Yes, I spent New Year's eve in the ER. Unfortunately it did not stop there. It has been a constant issue this year with her, 5 suicide attempts so far. <br /><br />• I have had a chance to make some wonderful friends this year. At the same time I have met really crappy fake people that I know wish I had never met. The same goes for guys I have met since being single and dating. <br /><br />• Found out just before Thanksgiving that I'm being laid off in the first part of the new year. It has caused me to hate my job which I have not done in the last 12 years. It has really thrown me for a loop. <br /><br />So I'm losing a job, getting divorced, worried about my kids and due to the lay off may need to seriously reconsider my housing options. Major life changes all around this year. Yes, I have survived but I am looking for next year to be better. It would be great if I could relax just a little and enjoy life a bit. <br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br /><br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-22117734059531677112010-10-25T15:09:00.001-07:002010-12-18T22:21:02.691-08:00The last yearOver the last year I have gone through a lot of changes personally. I separated from my husband and started divorce proceeding. The divorce seems to be the catalyst for most of what has changed over the last year. <br /><br />There have been a lot of people who have taught me things along the way. There is that saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Not quite sure what bucket they all fit in yet, but it's been an interesting journey either way so far. <br /><br />Prior to my separation I had met three of the most intelligent, funny, color outside the lines and honest women I know. They have been so awesome in being there. All of us sharing our ups and downs. Sharing what we are grateful for and sharing our secrets. Not sure where I would be without them. <br /><br />I've also met a few people that reminded me that not all men are jerks. Yet at the same time to keep my eyes open and not be naive on the lies some men are willing to tell. I have also been reminded so many times this year to trust my gut. When I had doubts about friendships and motives I questioned myself and others intentions. Second guessing my initial feelings. In the end those individuals proved that my initial gut feel was right on the money.<br /><br />Also made a friend that reminded me that I'm a very intelligent, independent, benevolent & beautiful single mom that has her shit together. He also helped me to better see a certain part of myself. Not sure he even knows that. Either way I'm grateful and will always think of him as a friend. As I mentioned before I'm not sure what bucket everyone falls into, but I know he no longer considers me a friend. None the less I wish only the best for him.<br /><br />Live and learn, I try to remind myself everyday to say what I want and not settle for less. To remember to trust my gut and be patient as things and relationships are ever evolving. <br /> <br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-24731044627562648492010-07-17T22:17:00.001-07:002010-07-17T22:17:26.524-07:00Reorganize<br />Ever get the feeling it's time to reorganize or reinvent yourself? I have been feeling out of sorts all week with out really being sure as to why. Now I'm thinking I need to make some changes. Clear the shelves and start fresh. <br /><br />I need to go back to eating more of raw diet, I feel more energized when I do. I need to remember to drink more water. Plan on starting couch to 5K on Monday. Longer term I need to figure out how to get back to dancing, I miss it. <br /><br />I need to cleanse my house & reorganize. Put away wedding pictures, collect what remains of my ex's belongs and return them, throw away old love notes.<br /><br />I need to get back to writing more, especially on vegan topics. I want to get back to practicing French. <br /><br />I have a lot of things and goals I want to do, so I must reorganize in order to make it happen and stop feeling so anxious about it all. <br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-2220588307943325282010-07-17T22:11:00.001-07:002010-07-17T22:11:24.769-07:00A seasonThis last year has brought so many changes to my life. A (not using real names to protect the innocent & the not so innocent) made me realize how unsatisfied & miserable I was in my marriage. D made me feel passion. I don't mean physical passion but rather a passion of emotions. It was a crazy emotional ride, but it made me feel alive again. <br /><br />Things with D ended as quickly as they began. Think I was lucky enough to have several people around me such as D2, G & M to get over everything and move forward. <br /><br />Yes, the whole last year has been an interesting ride. I figure it is exactly what I needed to change my life and move forward. <br /><br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-56827085782970144852010-06-24T22:24:00.000-07:002010-06-24T22:27:44.301-07:00The phone call.....[warning do not read if you are easily upset]I never thought a phone call could change my life, but it did.<br /> <br />I was 8, my parents had taken us out to the movies. It was raining when we got home. Mom was trying to open the door. My dad was caring my sis since she had fallen asleep. The phone started to ring before the door was open. I ran inside and picked it up. On the otherside was a woman crying. She asked for my dad so I of course handed him the phone. A few words where exchanged between them. He went into his bedroom with my mom right on his heels. I could hear them arguing but not quite sure what they were saying. A few minutes later, he had a bag in his hand and left. <br /><br />Didn't know exactly what happened, but I sure was about to find out. Once that door closed my mom started to scream at me hysterically. <br />"You are never to answer the phone again" "it's your fault your daddy left" <br /><br />She was then on the phone with my grandma and aunties yelling and crying. She seemed to cry all night. I must have fallen asleep since our house had a eerie stillness to it in the morning. Once my mom was up she packed a few bags and off to grandma's house we went. The next day she left. My sister and I were there for a week. No one would tell us what was happening. Where are parents were. I'd try calling home and the phone would just ring and ring. My sister and I felt abandoned by both of our parents. <br /><br />When my mom finally returned to get us she said, we moved. She had managed to have her job transfer her to a location 2 hours south of where we lived with my dad. She had rented a house and moved furniture in. <br /><br />My parents were seperated. My mom was working crazy hours to try & make ends meet. During the week, we had a maid that watched us. I use that term losely as she was an illegal my mom paid her under the table. Since she had no one to watch us on the weekend there was an elderly distant relative she would drop us off with. <br /><br />We didn't have a choice about this. During this time my dad maybe took me & my sister for the weekend twice. This relative had an older son that lived with her. I'm not entirely sure how old he was but I want to say late 20's. At first he was very nice to us regularly drawing us pictures of Hello Kitty. This was 1980. <br /><br />After a while just one of us would be in his room. Initially it was no big deal. Then he started to regularly stand me in front of his mirror with him standing behind me. He would rub his hands up & down on my non-existant breast. He would tell me that when I was a women I would enjoy this. Things progressed each weekend that we were there. Finally to the point where he would put his hands all the way down my pants. Now, he would seperate me & my sister as much as possible. I would try to regularly protect her as much as I could. I couldn't image him doing the same to her, but he did. <br /><br />Weird thing was this went unnoticed. We would BEG our dad to come get us. Would ask to be left home alone. Plus the regular bladder infections. Unnoticed. No, our patents were in their own world. This went on for a year and a half before we moved again. <br /><br />By the time I was 13 I had finally told my parents about this. Only to have my dad call me a liar. Soon afterwards this man was at a family reunion. I was horrified! My dad wanted to see me explode & go off, I didn't. I spent the day sitting in a corner with a fever & throwing up from being so upset. I failed to react the way my dad expected. Therefore according to him, I was never molested and I had lied in his eyes. <br /><br /> <br /> <br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-88883991764268850962010-06-22T21:37:00.000-07:002010-06-24T19:11:33.013-07:00What to do, what to do!So it seems that if one aspect of my life is going well the other parts just fall to pieces. <br /><br />Although work has been extremely busy this year, I have already exceeded my savings targets for this year. I have also received two awards and just found out this week that I'm going to receive another award next week. Career-wise yes life is good.<br /><br />The other aspects, not so much! As many of you know I'm going through a pretty messed up divorce. My ex is really been going after me for as much money as possible. No only in the form of child and spousal support, but also my stocks and retirement accounts. I don't mind the child support. I do resent the spousal support, he works for another pharmaceutical company and earns good money. Now this week he is being laid off, so he has been wanting to take me to court so that he can get half my salary. This has had me fuming of course! <br /><br />We previously agreed that I would keep our house. With the current status of the economy we would end up selling at a loss. The issue that comes up is how do I maintain an a house this size, my sanity and support my ex. As much as I love this house I feel like I have to walk away. It is just four walls, wood & concrete right? So why is the idea of selling my home so hard. For all I have worked for and accomplished this idea makes me feel like a failure. At the same time I want to be able to spend what I want when I want & buy things for my kids. I want to take vacations. With having to support my ex I really have been having to watch what I spend & I really hate that. <br /><br />Now that I have failed at two marriages and most likely will have to sell my house, yeah life sucks!Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-61389777731904251032010-05-09T00:01:00.000-07:002010-05-23T14:56:05.922-07:00What a girl wants.....What a girl wants and maybe a little of what a girl doesn't want. After 10 years I once again find myself single. A little older and hopeful a bit wiser. Over the last few months I have been doing a lot of soul searching trying to re-find myself and getting centered once again.<br /><br />I have been married twice now and am pretty certain at this point that I don't want to go down that path again. I have had three children two of which will be moving on to college and having a life of their own before I know it. So, I'm not looking to start a family and raise kids and build a home with anyone. I have that. I think I'm at a stage in my life where I'm being a bit more selfish. I want to date maybe even have a relationship with someone so that I can have fun and enjoy someone else's company. I'm not looking to have someone move in with me or support me.<br /><br />With all of these thoughts swirling in my head I have made a list of qualities that I'm looking for in a person to date or have a relationship. This list is in no particular order, just how I thought up these items. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Intelligence</span> - I know that this sounds like a given, but I find I can become quite inpatient with people that can not grasp complex ideas.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ambition</span> - I have met some very intelligent individuals that have no ambition. Sure they can make more money or get that job, but for some reason they choose to complain about it rather than take action and change their situation.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Kindness</span> - General kindness to other is a must have. Not only do I need kindness, but someone who can show my children kindness. By this I do not mean I'm looking for a daddy, but really someone that can be genuinely kind.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Humor</span> - I want someone who can make me giggle and be silly with me. Life is too short to always be serious. Need to have fun.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Passion</span> - If you are interested in me tell me. Let me know it. Hate to play guessing games. Now this is completely different than smothering with affection and stalking. Once thing is for sure, I need my own space.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Conversation</span> - Love to meet someone that could talk about Nuclear medicine, Yo gabba gabba or nothing at all. Just being able to hold a conversation about whatever is going on is a good thing.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Responsibility</span> - Again this seems pretty obvious but it amazes me how many people do not seem to take responsibility for themselves and their own actions. You're a grown up right? Well act like it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Emotional strength and maturity</span> - Yes my life is complicated. I know that and I doubt that will ever change. Need someone that can deal with that. Life is not always rainbows and unicorns. Life can get ugly and messy at times. If that is too much to handle then, they are not the one for me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Financial Stability</span> - Like I said I'm not looking to play house and have someone support me, I can stand on my two feet. I expect the same of who ever I'm with.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Shameless flirting</span> - Okay, so I will acknowledge that I'm a huge shameless flirt. But it truly is just that. If I'm committed, I'm committed. So if I'm flirting it is just that and nothing more. Takes a big man to be able to deal with that.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Acceptance</span> - You would think that being an atheist vegan would be a requirement at the top of my list, but it's not. It would be great, but as long as they were accepting that I am an atheist and that I am vegan it is okay. I don't want to change anyone and I don't want anyone to change me. I want some one to accept me as I am.<br /><br /><br />I know this list maybe a bit unrealistic. At this point I figure I should aim high as I have nothing to lose. Right?Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-74647891775445567252010-04-16T18:46:00.001-07:002010-05-29T21:32:18.172-07:00I'm just a bit nuttyEver feel like life is spiraling out of control? Usually life's stresses are easy to deal with when they come at you on a one on one basis. For what ever reason my life has gone into a tail spin lately. I'm dealing with getting divorced and my 14 year old who is bipolar going through some really rough times. Oh and did mention that work is crazy due to a merger and layoffs.<br /><br />If I seem a bit off from my usual self, you're right I am! <br /><br />-- Post From My iPhone<br />Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-70374370513650580112010-03-07T13:05:00.000-08:002010-03-07T13:12:47.794-08:00Super Easy & Yummy Vegan BrowniesI have had this <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">recipe</span> for over five years now, can't recall where I found it as I only have a handwritten copy. This is too yummy not to share, Especially since it is <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">soooo</span> easy to make and so yummy.<br /><br />2 Cups Flour<br />2 Cups Sugar<br />1 Cup Water<br />1 Cup Oil<br />3/4 Cup unsweetened Cocoa powder<br />1 tsp baking powder<br />1 tsp salt<br />1 tsp vanilla<br /><br />1.Preheat oven to 350 degree F<br />2. In large bowl combine all <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">ingredients</span> and mix until well blended<br />3. oil pan and coat with cocoa powder<br />4. Pour mix into 9 x 13 inch baking pan ( I use glass)<br /> 5. Bake for 25-30 minutesJust a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-19787834655184733942010-02-22T18:48:00.000-08:002010-02-22T18:55:08.139-08:00Vegans only?Recently there has been some buzz about vegans only dating other vegans, versus dating omnivores. This was a pretty funny topic, until it became apparent that some within the vegan community take this quite seriously. Thought being that to truly be a vegan you must only date other vegans.<br /><br />What is the reality of only dating other vegans? With vegans accounting for only one percent of the general population it is not highly likely. Most people cannot explain what causes or does not cause an attraction between two people. Common shared interests are often a factor, but then again opposites often do attract as well. The choice to be a vegan is very personal. You cannot force this life style choice upon anyone. Often what has seemed to have happened over an extended period of time is that the vegan partner will slowly convert the omnivore over to their way of thinking. Most long-term vegans have become accustom to the idea of explaining the benefits of living a vegan life style. The benefits vegans create by not exploiting animals. How <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">veganism</span> improves the environment and the individual health benefits.<br /><br />Ultimately dietary choices of who you date are not as important as helping others understand the importance of the vegan lifestyle. If the relationship is with the right partner they will respect and seek to understand what it means to be vegan. This is not to say that a either will be converting one from being an omnivore to a vegan, or a vegan to an omnivore <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">lifestyle</span> as relationships are not about changing one another but growing together.Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-4431310118504174992010-01-30T19:12:00.000-08:002010-01-31T06:14:36.965-08:00Every good thingI drive by several churches on my way to work. One in particular posts a new phrase every few days. Yesterday I noticed a new phrase up "Every good thing you have ever enjoyed is made possible by god".<br /><br />Well I had to laugh thinking about this. Thinking about the things I have in my life that I enjoy and am grateful for have nothing to do with an imaginary being. I feel truly sorry for the delusional <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">sheeple</span> that buy into this and then hand over their hard earned money to continually perpetuate this lie.<br /><br />Things I'm grateful for are my kids. My kids were created as a biological process of me having sexual intercourse with my husband. No intervention of god there. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">I'm</span> grateful for the nice home that my husband and I have been able to provide for our kids. That is a result of us both having good jobs and working hard. No <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">imaginary</span> being there. Having a good job is a result of me spending years earning my degree. Again, no intervention there. I could go on and on but I won't.<br /><br />Overall the point being that every good thing I enjoy in life I can <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">attribute</span> to something that I have done, worked for or someone in my life has been able to provide. There is no divine intervention. The poor and uneducated are continually being lead to believe otherwise. Poor, poor <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">sheeple</span>.Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-81102860504625361442010-01-02T17:42:00.000-08:002010-01-02T18:39:11.645-08:00Surprise, SurpriseAs of this month I have now been Vegan for four years. In looking back at the decision to make this change in my life I can say that I'm truly happy that I did. It really has had a positive impact in my life and overall health. Which has me now wondering why are so many reluctant or still strongly tied to the consumption of flesh.<br /><br />I have been thinking about this a bit recently, especially noticing the amount of recalls that have been posted by the FDA & USDA sites. For the most part these go unnoticed by the mainstream consumer until there is a massive recall that makes the local news.<br /><br />Food for thought, our health is largely impacted by what is put into our bodies. FDA closely regulates prescription medications, OTC products & cosmetics. The Red Cross has established requirements for who can and can not donate blood. Some of the requirements are as follows:<br /><br />- Can not be pregnant<br />- Had a tattoo within the last 12 months<br />- Needle stick within the last 12 months<br />- Epilepsy seizures<br />- Visited an area with Malaria<br />- History of Hepatitis<br />- Having been in jail in the past 12 months<br />- Having syphilis or gonorrhea<br />- Have any risk factors for HIV<br /><br />From that standpoint we watch what goes into our bodies. We would not find it acceptable to have blood transfusions or organ donations made if we thought that the original host was diseased. These types of incidents are rare and and few in far between for most in a given lifetime. Yet food that is consumed on a daily basis is given much less attention. Which I would think should be quite the opposite.<br /><br />In contrast the USDA set regulation and policies of how meat must be inspected in order to suitable for consumption is much more lax than blood donation requirements. Current requirements state that animals must be disease free otherwise there is special handling requirements for dealing with the diseases animal. Keep in mind that does not mean that the animal will not be able to enter the food supply. As far as I can find cattle are only tested for the following:<br /><br />- BSE - Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy or Mad Cow Disease<br />- Bovine Tuberculosis<br /><br />Beyond this the cattle do have to appear to in general good health. Yet, most cattle herds are infected with viral Leukemia and Johne's Disease and not tested for this and is not used as a requirement to determine suitability for food supply. Viral Leukemia appears in most bovine fluids such as milk that are consumed by the general population, and this is not eliminated by the pasteurization process. The rate of leukemia has increased 37% in the US since the 1960's. As for the Johne's disease it is the main suspected culprit of causing Chrone's disease and IBD in humans.<br /><br />Is it a surprise that the general population is in such poor health? Is it surprising that the masses are looking for a national health care solution? I don't think so, yet very few take the time to educate themselves on how to improve health through diet and embracing a vegan lifestyle. This I do find very surprising.Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-11725520801590459272009-12-20T07:40:00.000-08:002009-12-20T08:08:20.547-08:00The Atheist in meSo far I have mostly posted about being Vegan, but there are several aspects about me that fall outside of my veganism. I actually wrote this a while back and had posted it in another site, but with the Holiday season upon us I am very much reminded that I truly am an Atheist.<br /><br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />I have called myself an Atheist ever since I could remember, every once in a while I question this point of view, yet I always come back to this being the most fitting description for my personal beliefs.<br /><br />I can remember back to when I was 7 and having to sit in church (I was raised roman catholic, which is what most people say is the problem) and looking around at everyone with their heads down and eyes closed, wondering to myself what is everyone praying for or to who? I always thought that it was such a waste of time.<br /><br />I know several people who praise the church and will tell you that god is what gives them the strength to get through life. I just could never relate or understand this idea. How could a place with four walls and an altar provide this kind of inner strength? I always figured you were born with an inner spirituality, a fire within, to give you strength to persevere through life or you weren't.<br /><br />For the most part I think that people need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, get off their ass and make the needed changes in their lives. In my opinion most religions keep their followers uneducated and oppressed by telling them to keep the faith and to pray, rather than telling them to grab the bull by the horns and change their lives for the better. <br /><br />I could go on and on about this, but bottom line is I don't believe in imaginary friends.Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-48080145755586622522009-10-31T15:55:00.000-07:002009-10-31T17:01:15.495-07:00Craziness of being VeganHave been seeing a lot of dialogue lately on what Vegans should and shouldn't support as a community. Honestly I feel like I disagree with so much of it this craziness of ONLY supporting Vegan business.<br /><br />Come on seriously people, we should only support vegan establishments? This is utterly ridiculous. Within the vegan community there is often discussion on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">speciesism</span>. (<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Speciesism</span> being where people discriminate against other species.) I think the current approach many are taking is that we will soon end up with "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">veganism</span>". Where we discriminate against others based on their lifestyle. Would we have separate drinking fountains for veggie and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">omni's</span>? No, think not. Why would we promote the idea of only frequenting Vegan establishments. In my mind the idea would be to promote others to look towards Vegan lifestyle, not to further perpetuate the idea of vegans being a group of elitist.<br /><br />One of the basic things I see lacking within the vegan movement, as with anything is understanding the target audience. Food & shelter are basic needs, people in general are very sensitive when their basic needs feel threatened. Pushing to change basic needs in such a radical manner will have most not listening with an open mind if they listen at all. Additionally people are selfish. If you want to have someone look at an idea or influence them to your view point you need to show them what is in it for them. How do they benefit. That is why the rational for being vegan to me is health, environment and then Animals. Yes, in that order. Unfortunately many other Vegans seem to think that I would most likely go back to being <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">omni</span> before they would. I whole heartily disagree, as I take very few prescription drugs today versus when I consumed animal products. I am personally invested in being vegan. We need to look to do the same with the general public in order to get the idea of being Vegan more mainstream.<br /><br />Another piece to this is Supply and Demand. The more the demand the more there is a supply of vegan options. The more the supply, the more demand can increase for said vegan options. Those that have financial resources to invest in business need to see there is a demand, they need to see that there is money to be made in offering & selling vegan options weather that be in the grocery store, restaurants or at the local car dealer. I will gladly patronize businesses with vegan options. In my view this should help create additional offering for vegans and help other see the being vegan is easier than they may have previously thought.Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-2021846960860177472009-10-15T19:17:00.000-07:002009-10-15T19:21:02.407-07:00A few months ago when I started this blog I intended to keep up on a regular basis. I have had a lot going on lately. Soon as I get things a bit more straight in my own head I plan on sharing a bit more of all the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">craziness</span> that has been going on over the last few months.Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-31066824844612807962009-07-23T17:51:00.000-07:002009-07-23T18:24:08.458-07:00My wonderful MILFor the summer we decided to sent my 14 year old daughter to visit grandma for 5 weeks. Figured she is old enough, she is aware of her medical needs and knows how to look out for what she can and can not eat due to her food allergies.<br /><br />My daughter is specifically allergic to milk protein. This really is an allergy and not an intolerance. So I was very surprised when my daughter mentioned that 'grandma said - that it is OK to drink cow's milk and that she could train her body to tolerate milk'<br /><br />My first reaction immediately was WTF? How could my mother in law think it was Ok to tell my daughter that? First she knows that I'm vegan and that I try to have my kids eat a vegan diet as much as possible. Second this is a specific allergy - medical condition that we have had to deal with for years.<br /><br />The good part about this is that my daughter and I had a fairly lengthy conversation on the subject. Beyond the food allergy we talked about why it was not a good idea to drink cows milk even if her body could tolerate it. We talked about how it really is meant for calves, how the cows are kept pregnant & the suffering they go through. Which she understood, but was still not clear about why it was not good for you. Talked about how the milking is done and the blood and pus that end up in the milk itself. Although the milk is pasteurized that process does not kill all bacteria and viruses, thus there is a need to give the cows antibiotics.<br /><br />In the end I was happy that she understood and really does not want to even bother to try and "train her body to tolerate cow's milk". Win for me, even with the meddling mother in law.Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1147831708589012169.post-37391214195020512032009-06-26T16:48:00.000-07:002010-05-29T21:06:34.735-07:00My path to becoming VeganEveryone seems to take a different paths in life, none the less many of us end up in the same place throughout our journeys. For me it seems to be a natural progression that I’m now VEGAN.<br /><br />My personal journey started way back when I was 14. I could not drink milk without getting violently ill. Tried Lactaid and other similar products, didn’t matter I would still get horribly sick. So I decided to just gave it up. At 17 I decided that I would be Vegetarian, this lasted until I was in my early 20’s and pregnant with my first child. I got pressure from EVERYONE I knew that I was not giving my baby enough protein. I broke and gave in. I ate meat. This really was a challenge for me. Have never been able to walk into a grocery store go in the meat section and buy a pack of meat. Trying to do this & deal with morning sickness it just was not happening. After that it seems as though I always had someone handing a piece of meat. Around the same time I also started to realize that I had a similar reaction to eggs as I did with milk. Ok, decide to completely cut out all the eggs as well. After having my first two children and finally regaining control of my body, I would go back and forth on being vegetarian over the next 8 years.<br /><br />Right around the time I turned 30, I became violently ill and had to be hospitalized. I had a high fever and severe pains on my right side. Appendicitis? Nope. Gallbladder, no already had that removed. Docs had no idea really and I had rounds of tests to basically tell me the same thing. “No Clue what’s wrong with you.” Shortly after we moved from CA to the East Coast. Again I was getting violently ill. Went through seeing a few specialists, and having things such a Cancer, Crones, Colitis and a few other possible diseases were mentioned. Had several tests done, I did get a diagnosis of a chronic illness but nothing close to what was originally being mentioned & it didn’t really explain all my symptoms. Ended up with some prescription medications and was also told to “Eat a high fiber diet, so lots of veggies, and Omega 3’s so eat some fish too. Oh, by the way your body can’t seem to handle red meat so avoid that.” At this point I’m eating lots of veggies & fish, no red meat, no milk & no eggs. Yet I still was getting these bouts of being sick. Each time I would get sick for 2-3 days at a time. Very frustrating because I never knew when I would get sick and what caused. Started to realize that I seemed to also have a sensitivity to sulfates. It became a must for me to read all labels and really watch what I would eat.<br /><br />Since I travel for work, I also found that restaurants have milk & eggs hidden in all sorts of food and then there always seem to be product that would have undeclared dairy and the like. At this point it seemed that every few months I was back at the doctors office getting tests and different prescription. Then the unexpected happened, because we had tried for five year and had given up. I was pregnant with my third child. The medication I was taking had a warning, so I stopped taking it immediately. Problem was soon as I would stop taking it I would become sick again. Part of my first questions to the OB/GYN was what medications were safety to take for this condition during pregnancy. None. OMG, so what do I do? No real answers. Started doing lots of research online. Found some articles saying that a vegan diet could eliminate my most of my symptoms. How hard could it be? It only meant eliminating fish & chicken from my diet. Then came the concern of getting enough protein for the baby. Made several calls to my insurance to request that they approve a visit with nutritionist. Even being pregnant & with my other medical condition I didn’t qualify. I was determined not to cave this time. Back to the Internet for more research. I was able to get through the pregnancy on vegan diet and no medication without becoming sick again. Then I was breastfeeding so I continued on. After that I realized that I did not want to be on prescription medicine the rest of my life for some thing that I could easily control with this type of diet. Which is ironic since that is the industry I’m in, but I digress. I have now been following a vegan diet for the last 3 years or so. Finally starting to feel like I did before I started to get seriously sick.<br /><br />Most of this change was initially around what I ate, now I have slowly started to look at all the other aspects of my life. Surprisingly the hardest things for me to give up have been honey & leather shoes. I have been working on this, and have eliminated the honey. Still working on the shoes, but it has been at least six months since I purchased a pair of leather shoes. Almost there!Just a girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10631778459593722081noreply@blogger.com1