Sunday, May 9, 2010

What a girl wants.....

What a girl wants and maybe a little of what a girl doesn't want. After 10 years I once again find myself single. A little older and hopeful a bit wiser. Over the last few months I have been doing a lot of soul searching trying to re-find myself and getting centered once again.

I have been married twice now and am pretty certain at this point that I don't want to go down that path again. I have had three children two of which will be moving on to college and having a life of their own before I know it. So, I'm not looking to start a family and raise kids and build a home with anyone. I have that. I think I'm at a stage in my life where I'm being a bit more selfish. I want to date maybe even have a relationship with someone so that I can have fun and enjoy someone else's company. I'm not looking to have someone move in with me or support me.

With all of these thoughts swirling in my head I have made a list of qualities that I'm looking for in a person to date or have a relationship. This list is in no particular order, just how I thought up these items.

Intelligence - I know that this sounds like a given, but I find I can become quite inpatient with people that can not grasp complex ideas.

Ambition - I have met some very intelligent individuals that have no ambition. Sure they can make more money or get that job, but for some reason they choose to complain about it rather than take action and change their situation.

Kindness - General kindness to other is a must have. Not only do I need kindness, but someone who can show my children kindness. By this I do not mean I'm looking for a daddy, but really someone that can be genuinely kind.

Humor - I want someone who can make me giggle and be silly with me. Life is too short to always be serious. Need to have fun.

Passion - If you are interested in me tell me. Let me know it. Hate to play guessing games. Now this is completely different than smothering with affection and stalking. Once thing is for sure, I need my own space.

Conversation - Love to meet someone that could talk about Nuclear medicine, Yo gabba gabba or nothing at all. Just being able to hold a conversation about whatever is going on is a good thing.

Responsibility - Again this seems pretty obvious but it amazes me how many people do not seem to take responsibility for themselves and their own actions. You're a grown up right? Well act like it.

Emotional strength and maturity - Yes my life is complicated. I know that and I doubt that will ever change. Need someone that can deal with that. Life is not always rainbows and unicorns. Life can get ugly and messy at times. If that is too much to handle then, they are not the one for me.

Financial Stability - Like I said I'm not looking to play house and have someone support me, I can stand on my two feet. I expect the same of who ever I'm with.

Shameless flirting - Okay, so I will acknowledge that I'm a huge shameless flirt. But it truly is just that. If I'm committed, I'm committed. So if I'm flirting it is just that and nothing more. Takes a big man to be able to deal with that.

Acceptance - You would think that being an atheist vegan would be a requirement at the top of my list, but it's not. It would be great, but as long as they were accepting that I am an atheist and that I am vegan it is okay. I don't want to change anyone and I don't want anyone to change me. I want some one to accept me as I am.


I know this list maybe a bit unrealistic. At this point I figure I should aim high as I have nothing to lose. Right?

4 comments:

  1. It's important to be selfish when your heart is at stake. I don't really think that you could even classify this as selfishness- it's just about knowing what you want and going for it.

    This is also a great list of qualities for a future mate. I think that many people forget how worthwhile it is to find someone with ambition. I've met a lot of people who have great qualities but lack ambition and basic decision making skills

    I hope that you find what you're looking for! (:

    - Charlotte

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  2. I don't know you, but I give you a ton of credit for this post. I have MANY single female friends who, sadly, seem willing to settle for any man with a pulse versus being alone.

    By identifying what you want, clearly and concisely, I believe that you will find what you are seeking, and if for some reason you don't, you will come out of this knowing exactly who you are and what you need to be happy and complete.

    Kudos! I look forward to seeing your future tweets as I just "followed you."

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  3. You sound like an awesome lady.I Give you lots of credit for posting what you want and need in a relationship. Good Luck to you and may you find what you are looking for. Your strength and wisdom will take you far in life.

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